The four-legged world is at war with the Meanies. 

In Not-So-Free Canineland, Max, weary, cynical owner of Max's Cafe, is at the water bowl with Sweet Samantha. Then, who should enter but Lovely Duchess, Demure Cocker Spaniel, and with her is Dashing Daschund, heroic resistance fighter for the Humane Society. They go over and say hello.

"Hello, Lovely," says Max. "Dashing, your reputation precedes you."

"Thank you," says Dashing, and he and Lovely leave.

When they have gone, Max, in anguish, laments, "Of all the biscuit joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." Then he looks at Samantha and barks, "Sing it, Samantha!"

Samantha balks, and Max says, "If you could sing it for her you can sing it for me!"

Samantha sings, "You must remember this, a stick is still a stick....."

Flashback: Max and Lovely frolicking in The Arbors, and his utter despair when she doesn't rendevous with him at The Pet Hotel.

Fade in to later that night:Max finds Lovely in his room.. 

"I've come for the Letters of Transport, I know you have them," says Lovely.

"You're not getting them," says Max.

"But, Max, if I ever meant anything to you...."

"Don't speak of that, if you know what's good for you."

Lovely bares her fangs and growls. "Then I'll take them from you," she says. But she can't. "Oh, Max, I've never stopped loving you!"

They embrace, tightly, and kiss.

Fade out.

Afterwards, she explains that Dashing is her husband, and that, all that time ago, she believed he was dead. "You see, Dashing had escaped from a puppy mill, and he was ill and hurt and being treated at Animal Hospital of West Woodstock; I had to go to him. The Meanies were coming, and I knew that if I told you that you'd come to help and be caught. But Max it's you I love. Dashing has his work. Oh, I don't know what's right or wrong anymore!"

"Then I will do the thinking for both of us," says Max.

Later, Max meets with Captain Bailey, Chief of Police and tells her, yes, he does have the Letters of Transport, and will use them to take him and Lovely to the free world, to Woofstock Park. 

"Not only that," says Max, "I will deliver Dashing to you; quite a rawhide treat for you to give to Major Nasty."

Fade out.

Fade in to a fog-shrouded parking lot. Max and Lovely and Dashing and Captain Bailey are there awaiting the crate that Lovely and Captain Bailey believe will take Max and Lovely away. But no, Max tells them all that the Letters of Transport are for "Mr. and Mrs. Dashing Daschund."

Cut to Lovely, in shock. Cut to Max.

Max: Last night we said a great many things. I said I would do the thinking for both of us. Well, I've done a lot of it since then, and it all adds up to one thing: you're getting in that crate with Dashing where you belong.

Lovely: But, Max, no, I... I...

Max: Now, you've got to listen to me! You have any idea what you'd have to look forward to if you stayed here? Nine chances out of ten, we'd both wind up in a puppy mill. Isn't that true, Bailey?

Captain Bailey: I'm afraid Major Nasty would insist.

Lovely: You're saying this only to make me go.

Max: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Dashing. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. If that crate leaves and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Lovely: But what about us?

Max: We'll always have The Arbors. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Lovely, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little doggies don't amount to a hill of chewies in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.

Lovely and Dashing get in the crate and are taken away. Then Major Nasty arrives and threatens to bash the crate. Max chews him to pieces. The police arrive. Max looks at Captain Bailey.

"Round up the usual suspects!" says Captain Bailey. And as she and Max slowly walk off into the fog, Max says, "Bailey, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

Fade out.

THE END